Whether it is a past traumatic incident or an old painful internalized message (ie: I am unlovable), sometimes, understanding it and talking about it is not enough to create change and release the intensity of emotions that come when thinking about it.
The impact of trauma and trauma triggers spreads wide, with your body often reacting before your brain can understand what is going on – a racing heart, tightening of the chest, sweaty palms, and spiraling thoughts. Oftentimes, we hear people say, “This happened to me a long time ago, I don’t understand why I am still so affected by it!” Trauma will find any crack to slip out of, especially if it hasn’t been fully processed, mentally, emotionally, and somatically.
Understanding Why Insight Is Not Always Enough
We tend to think that if we understand something, it should stop affecting us. But emotional experiences, especially overwhelming or painful ones, are not stored only as thoughts. They are stored in the body, specifically in the nervous system.
This is why you can logically know that you are safe but still feel anxious, and why you can recognize a pattern but still feel pulled into it. Your system is not responding to what you know; it is responding to what has not yet been fully processed. Unfortunately, we can’t just think or talk our way out of trauma.
When the Past Still Feels Present
Unprocessed experiences do not feel like memories. They feel like something that is still happening.
This can show up as:
- Strong emotional reactions that feel out of proportion
- Triggers that seem to come out of nowhere
- A sense of being “on edge” or hyper aware
- Patterns that repeat, even when you try to change them
It is not that you are doing something wrong. It is that your brain and body are trying to protect you using information that has not yet been fully integrated.
What is EMDR Therapy?
EMDR stands for Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing. It is a structured therapy that helps your brain process unresolved experiences and negative self-beliefs, so they no longer feel as intense or overwhelming.
Unlike traditional talk therapy, EMDR does not rely only on insight. It works directly with how memories and experiences are stored in the brain and body.
How EMDR Works
During EMDR therapy, your therapist will guide you through a process that includes:
- Bringing awareness to a specific memory, feeling, or belief
- Engaging in bilateral stimulation, such as guided eye movements, tapping or stimulation devices
- Allowing your brain to reprocess the experience in real time, in a safe space
You are not forced to relive everything in detail. Instead, the process allows your system to move through the experience in a way that feels more manageable and contained. Over time, the emotional intensity connected to that memory begins to shift.
Please note that Rae Therapy Group therapists will make sure you have a mutual understanding of resources that can help ground you if needed during and after EMDR reprocessing.
What Changes With EMDR
As the brain processes these experiences, people often notice:
- Triggers feel less intense
- Emotional reactions become more manageable
- Thoughts begin to shift naturally, and internal self-beliefs change for the better
- The past feels more like the past, not something happening now
You may still remember what happened, but it no longer carries the same emotional weight. You also may find an increase in self-compassion for what you’ve been through.
Why EMDR Can Feel Different From Talk Therapy
Many people come to EMDR after trying traditional therapy and realize that they are still feeling stuck. EMDR therapy can happen on its own or as an adjunct to traditional talk therapy.
EMDR allows for unconscious thoughts, memories, and feelings to move toward consciousness.
Who EMDR Is Helpful For
EMDR can be especially helpful if you:
- Feel triggered even when you understand why
- Experience anxiety, panic, or emotional overwhelm
- Notice patterns that keep repeating despite insight
- Feel stuck in past experiences
- Want to go deeper than talking about the problem
Although people come in for EMDR to process significant traumatic incidents such as a car accident, a traumatic birth experience, a physical or sexual assault, and so on, EMDR is not solely for specific traumatic incidents.
Attachment Focused EMDR can be incredibly powerful in identifying painful inner self-beliefs (ie: no one will ever care for me, I am unlovable, etc.), processing associated feelings and connected traumas, and rewiring self-beliefs that allow you a stronger sense of freedom, and an increase in healthy intimacy with yourself and others.
We think of EMDR as sweeping the basement floor, clearing the dust that’s been long ignored.
