“LGBTQ affirmative therapy” or LGBTQ listed under specialties is on almost everyone’s website now. Although this is wonderful in many ways, people often overlook the importance of having specialized training and education, even if you are a therapist in the LGBTQIA+ community yourself.
What “Affirmative” Means
At its core, affirming/affirmative therapy means that your identity is respected, supported, and not treated as something to be questioned or fixed. It means you are not pathologized for who you are, and your experiences are taken seriously.
Why Affirming Therapy Matters
LGBTQ individuals often navigate layers of experience that are not always visible from the outside. LGBTQ individuals grew up without many (or any) mirrors, leaving a deep feeling of being an outsider (both in their family and in society), unlovable, rejectable, trouble, and a disappointment.
LGBTQ individuals often face:
- Minority stress
- Experiences of discrimination or exclusion
- Family rejection or complicated family dynamics
- Internalized shame or self-doubt
- Navigating identity and shape-shifting in different environments
Our society is riddled with homophobia, lesbianphobia, biphobia, transphobia, queerphobia, sexism, and power differential dynamics, along with racism and the never-ending power of the white male dominant patriarchy. Understandably so, LGBTQ individuals have a complex and brilliant defense mechanism system, built from years of hiding and/or experiencing hate. Working with a therapist who intimately understands the LGBTQ community and relational dynamics, LGBTQ history, intersectionality, and so on, deeply changes the capacity for repair and healing.
The Problem With “Affirming” Without Training
As the term becomes more common, it is also being used more loosely. Some therapists identify as affirming because they are open-minded or supportive.
But without specific training or experience, this can lead to:
- Subtle misunderstandings and microaggressions
- Missed context
- Clients having to educate the therapist
- Important dynamics being overlooked
Even when unintentional, this can feel exhausting and confusing for clients.
What LGBTQIA Affirmative Therapy Should Look Like
Working with a therapist who has specific training and experience in working with LGBTQIA identities often feels different right away.
You may notice:
- You do not have to explain basic aspects of identity or language
- Your experiences are understood within a broader context
- Conversations about relationships, gender, and identity feel natural
- There is a deeper awareness of the challenges LGBTQ individuals face
- Resources and LGBTQ history are available upon request, and often interwoven in the work
This creates space to go beyond surface-level conversations and into the depths of feeling.
What to Look for in a Therapist
If you are searching for an LGBTQ affirmative therapist, it can help to look for:
- Specific training or education in LGBTQ mental health
- Experience working with LGBTQ clients
- Comfort discussing identity, relationships, and community
- A sense that you do not have to filter or simplify your experience
During your consultation call, it might be beneficial to ask the therapist what it means to them to be an LGBTQ affirmative therapist. If they say they are an ally or a member of the LGBTQ community but leave out education and the way they approach therapy with LGBTQIA clients, that might not be enough.
Take the Next Step with an LGBTQIA Affirmative Therapist at Rae Therapy Group
You deserve therapy where you feel understood without having to explain every part of yourself, and your identity is not just accepted but truly recognized and supported. In LGBTQ Affirmative therapy, you can focus on exploring different parts of your identity, navigating relationships in and out of the queer community, processing past experiences (including trauma and rejection), working through internalized queerphobia and shame, decreasing depression and anxiety, and increasing self-worth and self-acceptance.
In LGBTQ affirmative therapy, your sexuality and gender identity do not always need to be the focus of sessions. Your therapist will meet you where you are and not push their own agenda onto you.
The right therapeutic space and therapeutic relationship can make all the difference. We highly recommend consulting with therapists, asking questions, and listening to your gut when it comes to choosing the person who will help you. If, for any reason, we cannot help you, we are very tied into the LGBTQ affirmative Los Angeles community, and we will serve as a bridge to guide you into wonderful, affirming hands.
